People try on all sorts of things: clothes, shoes, philosophies, religions, even attitudes. I remember when I was taking a college class called "Abnormal Psychology," the professor gave the class a warning in his first lecture. He said we were about to enter the "disorder of the week" zone. He explained that as we studied various psychological disorders, there would be elements of them that could make us identify with it enough to make us question our sanity. The mathematical theorem if A=B and B=C, then A=C does not apply to extremes nor to breaks in the cognitive function of the human psyche. Yes, there would be elements of dysfunction that we would recognize in ourselves. The difference would be how we process and respond. His warning was intended to ward us off the delusions of self-diagnosis.
My former partner use to exclaim that Americans are the great embracers. The clever catch phrase enters the popular lingo almost instantly. A new diet craze sells books, talk shows and supplements. The lingo lasts until someone decides it's cliche. A particular diet is nothing more than the flavor of the month, no make that the flavor of the week! When it comes adopting a new attitude, well, the shelves at the local bookstore are sagging under the weight of "I'm Okay, You're Okay," "The Power of Positive Thinking," along with an array of books with titles that begin with phrases such as "seven things you should know, do, think, eat." Don't forget "seven steps to a new you, finding your perfect mate, to success, to increased wealth, to happiness." Funny that we can look at a plant and see signs of new growth. We can watch a puppy grow into a favorite companion. However, when we want to examine our growth, when we look for signs of our life, we look everywhere except the mirror. Instead we watch a television show or read a book, well maybe part of a book. Suddenly, our family and friends are wondering if we've been hit on the head because we are speaking differently and acting "totally weird." After a while, we grow weary of the affectation and revert to our former unhappy, searching selves, just like we did when the new fad diet made us fatter, and all the crap about getting rich left us in even worse financial shape. Isn't that the way it always goes? Americans embrace the quick fix, the cliff notes to living. I'm reminded of Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, who once commented, "You can dress up a pig, put some lipstick on her and call her Monique, but she's still a pig."
Self realization is a process. It isn't the answer found in the back of the book or in an entire season of "Oprah." Unless you happen to be struck by lightning while riding a donkey on the road to Damascus, or are visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, or Future, the change we seek is not something that happens overnight. The most important thing we can do is to be our most authentic selves possible while we grow through the process. It's a matter of acting in the world from a foundation of truth, responding to the world in a natural, uncalculated manner. When we can take from life and give back to it honestly, we are living the legendary life. If we allow ourselves to grasp at whatever impulse we think will garner us the biggest reward, the most money, or will make people like us the most and dare to call ourselves improved or enlightened...well, all I can say to that is "Hello, Monique! Nice lipstick you're wearin'!"
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