Thanks to the success of the PBS series about geneology hosted by Henry Louis Gates, jr., it appears we may be in for an onslaught of copycat shows. The first such commercial venture is entitled "Who Do You Think You Are?" Catchy title, but what a misnomer! It should be "Who are your people and where did you come from?" as we often ask newcomers in the South.
These shows are tremendously interesting. They are also indicators of a serious disconnect in American family life. It seems that a lot of people don't know as much about their families as they would like. It's as though this generation as well as the preceding one was adopted with all the records sealed.
There are several reasons I can offer for this. The main one, I believe, is the demise of the family dinner. So many of us eat on the run, while working overtime or even two jobs, only to finish the day in front of a television or computer that we have become disassociated from our families. Dinnertime is when the family used to gather to discuss the events of the day, which often led to stories the began with, "When I was your age" or "During the War, that's WWII, 'the big one,'" which brought a few moans, but also gave us a sense of continuity. When I was growing up, 5 pm was an almost sacred hour. My father arrived home from work; my mother had dinner ready. We sat down to the table together and remained there until we all left the table together. Saturday nights meant a visit to our grandparents. The entire clan met there weekly. All aunts, uncles and cousins gathered for conversation, coffee and one of my grandmother's special homemade desserts. During these visits, aside from our own news, there were letters passed from my grandmother's sisters who either still lived in North Dakota or California. There was also a copy of the newspaper from Lisbon, North Dakota. This was mainly a gossip sheet, but kept us all up to date on the people my grandparents had known before they moved away. Occassionally, there was even a letter from one of my grandfather's brothers still living in Sweden. These were read by my Granddad and translated for the gathering. We knew who we were and had an idea of our place in the world. It was all first-hand oral family history, without the benefit of Google.
My recent trip to Sweden with my sister, while delightful, was enlightening. We learned a lot about our Grandfather by seeing where he had been born and raised, as well as what he went through to come to the US. What conversations we could have had with him on our return if he were still alive! We also learned about ourselves, our attitudes and beliefs by meeting the Swedish people we encountered. Our Swedish friends taught us a lot about hospitality, generosity of spirit, and humor. Our concepts of family were reinforced when they made us a part of theirs. Once again we experienced a context which told us who we are and our place in the world.
I hope these television shows motivate people to connect with their own families as well as their family history. It's important to know where we came from in order to understand the significance of where we are, and see where we're headed. Anyone living in the United States who was born here as the result of the immigration of a preceeding generation has a debt of gratitude to pay the ancestors by learning about the courage and sacrifices they made to live in this country and giving them proper recognition. Our ancestors were searchers, movers and shakers that built this country. They were indeed legendary. Now it's up to us to pick up the torch and move forward to create something wonderful for those who come after us. We want them to think we're legenday, too, don't we?
I agree, and it is very sad. While I unfortunately don't have alot of information on my ancestors, much of what I do know came from my Great Aunt Lily, my father's mother's sister. She was a real character and would send me letters filled with little bits of information about her family. Her mother was French, and father was British (their name was Boles). My grandmother Laura married Frederick Albert Hagin, whose parents were both born in Germany. They all moved out of Germany to New Jersey where my Grandfather worked for Ballantine Brewery in Newark! (Sadly no longer there) But to make this way too long story short.... we too had dinner all together each night, and talked about our days, the problems at school, what we were doing with our friends.... and most weekends were spent with our grandparents or Aunts and Uncles. It was a big family (I am oldest of 6) and I only have really good memories of growing up. I feel badly for people who have nothing but bad childhood memories....
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