Survivor Mom

The most important take-away concept of the book "The Survivors Club" by Ben Sherwood is that survivors are vigilant.  Such is the case of a New Jersey mom.  The name Amy Schmalbach probably doesn't mean anything to you.  No reason for it to, until now. 

When a census-taker knocked on her door, she says she expected the visit because she hadn't sent in her census form.  As she answered the man's questions, she had an uneasy feeling that she had seen him somewhere before.  She thought she knew where.  She asked him to step back so she could close and lock her door and then went to her computer.  She pulled up the New Jersey sex offender website.  There was a photo of the man at her door.  She called 911 and the man was arrested.

This man had all the correct government credentials for is job.  He had gotten them, however, under an assumed name.  Her vigilance in checking the list stopped this man who had been convicted of exposure and child endangerment.  She may have saved her child.  She certainly saved someone's.

We should all follow Amy's example.  Check the list.  Whether we're parents or not, we know children who need protection.  We teach them to respect authority, but these days recognizing true authority isn't easy.  The evening news is peppered with stories of fake policemen, fake firemen, fake utility workers all using official looking credentials to rob, assault and rape.  Making ourselves familiar with details can help to prevent us from becoming victims.

While cellphones can be very helpful in cases of emergency.  Misuse can also cause the emergencies. Every day I see people walking the sidewalks of New York while pushing strollers and talking on cellphones.  I have seem some that were so involved in their phone conversations that they didn't notice the traffic light had changed. 

Even without a cellphone, people can be dangerously distracted if they don't practise awareness.  At a grocery store a mother picked up her child and swung him around, nearly hitting me.  I had noticed her and was able to stop in time.  I could have just as easily been watching her and used the collision as an opportunity to snatch the toddler from her arms and jump into a car waiting at the curb outside.  When I suggesting being more careful, she snarled back, "You be more careful!"  I replied that I was and that I'm not the one with a child.  She told me I was rude.  She had no idea the tradgedy she might have had.

I try to be aware and anticipate the actions of others around me.  "Defensive Walking" is just as important as Defensive Diving.  Today, Amy has taught us a new lesson in vigilance.  Find the sex offender website  for your state (for NYC, there would be at least three state websites to check: NY, NJ, CT) and check it periodically.  It just might save a child, a neighbor, a co-worker or friend from abuse, rape, or even death.  This is certainly a lesson in living a legendary life.  Thank you, Amy!

A Legendary Case for National Healthcare

He was standing at the foot of the stairs of the Columbus Circle subway station.  As I got off the B train and crossed the platform to wait for the A train to arrive, I noticed him.  A young hispanic man with the brightest smile I have ever seen, was standing at the foot of the stairs leading to the 1 train or the exit, whichever.  That smile was so captivating that I almost miss the sandwich-board size sign hanging around his neck.  Like any other sandwich board sign it was professionally printed with large letters.  The smile was so engaging I had to force myself to read the sign: I lost my arms in a terrible accident.  I am collecting money to buy my prosthetics so that I can return to work.  Please help.

That was when I noticed that this young man with the beautiful smile with a large sign hanging from his neck was holding the sign in place with his upper arms which now ended just above where there should have been elbows.  Those elbows did not have the smoothe scars I have seen on other amputees.  These arm stumps had scars that looked like the mangled wounds that cost this young man his forarms and hands.  These were scars that reported on emergency care that was substandard to our expectations.  I know this because this young man wanted help badly enough to wear a short sleeved cotton dress shirt. 

Suddenly, I didn't know where to look.  I didn't want to stare at his wounds, but they commanded the same powerful attention as his smile.  In spite of whatever he had been through, all that he had been through, he smiled as his sign asked for a second chance to make a living for himself.

I counted 20 people on that platform.  Two of us approached him with cash, which we placed in a shoulder bag hanging on one side.  The other person who made a contribution was a well-dressed black lady carrying a Louis Vuitton bag, a new LV bag, a real LV bag.  I watched as she looked into his eyes, smiling at him and caressed his face as a mother would after putting her money in his bag.  The other 18 people on the platform this day chose not to see him.  They missed out on seeing one of the most radiant smiles they would ever see in their lifetimes.  They missed out on an opportunity to do for someone what our governemnt should be doing.  That is, to make sure that everyone has the best emergency healthcare possible.  To make sure that everyone has the tools they need to make a life for himself...something as basic as hands.

He asked for hands so he can work, not a lifetime of hand outs.  What he must of thought when people didn't see him!  It didn't seem to matter.  He kept smiling, kept trying to engage people.  If this isn't a prime example of how to be legendary, I don't know the meaning of the word.